Sunday, April 5, 2009

What is It?

____There are some moments in your life where your entire world changes forever. This post is but mere a recollection one of those moments. ____We all stood around it. An odd, box shaped mass, of unknown pleasure. All three of us, Nathan, Derrick, and I, could not help but stare at the uncovered treasure we had unearthed from the boxes and boxes of assorted canned foods and Christmas decorations. I don't know who said ____I think deep down we all knew, but we could scarcely believe it. Such technology was extinct; Prehistoric, and worthless. We didn't know if we had any reason to be excited, or if we should just shrug our shoulders and walk away. In the end, we did what any young peoples with nothing to do on a Saturday night would do. We connected some wires, assembled a few parts, removed the gun from its protective covering, aimed it straight at the tv, and pulled the trigger. The gun went off with a loud bang! But the stupid duck still got away. ____Now let me tell you exactly what we found. You see, it was truly one of God's greatest creations. There are only two things in the entire world that can hold a teenage boy's attention for this long, and no, it wasn't a girl. It was a Nintendo gaming system. (Insert angelic choir here). But it was not just any Nintendo, oh no no no no no. It was (drum roll) a Nintendo NES! Do you remember those? And boy, was there a reason to be excited! It came with possibly the best games ever made! Tetris, Mario, and Duck Hunt! Yes, that is why we shot the tv. _____Needless to say, our weekend was henceforth filled with nostalgic bliss as we competed with each other to see who could shoot the most ducks, survive the longest in Tetris, and who remembered how to pass the most levels of Mario. I loved how it had the old ending on Mario where you had to jump on top of the flag pole to finish the level. It took us all weekend to break 500 points before I remembered that the B button gave you that running leap to pixilated victory. Now not hitting 1,000 is a joke. You can expect all manner of mockery and criticism and cat calls of "Ha ha, you jumped too soon!" if you don’t manage to make it to the top. If you have no idea what I'm saying, you're probably too young to even know what I'm talking about. Or maybe you're too old to even care. ____All in all, I have a feeling college will be a lot more interesting after our brand new discovery. Diplomas would mean nothing if we could just get past the second world on Mario. We could also use a little practice on Duck Hunt. Those buggers always seem to find a way to evade my pixilated fury. Oh, and here's a little piece of advice. No matter how much he ticks you off, you can't shoot the dog. Once again, if you don't know what I mean, you need to take a trip down memory lane. A trip to a simpler time, when pixels the size of your fist were actually impressive.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Sick As a Dog

All is not well in the Davis household. Our sadness is like a plague of despair sweeping through the dwelling. We mourn the state of our most beloved household member, Buckles, who has sadly been stricken with a case of pneumonia. He has had a remarkable recovery over the past few days, and we are now sure that he will get better, but it is still hard to see him like this. It's very scary. What once was a hyperactive puppy has now become a sad throwrug of lethargy. He doesn't even have the energy to steal our socks as we put them on in the morning. All he can do is guard his little tennis ball by snatching it away anytime we come near him. It seems that even when his lungs are lined with fluid, he's still adorable. Well, we wish him a speedy recovery. He's eating and drinking, so he should be fine in a few weeks.
Oh, and I added some pictures to my older postings. Even the ones of my freaky dental nightmare that I mentioned in an earlier post. It's there now.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

To The Heart of the Matter!

Oh Gross! Just a quick heads up about the goings on in my life. This week at school, I got an opportunity that I am not at all eager to ever repeat. Had I not have forgotten that it was the day we had to dissect cow hearts at school, I probably would've stayed home. I think I'm scarred for life now and I probably won't be eating any cow meat for a while. Not after seeing the five pound organ that sustatins the life of the creature.
I will not lie, the class was actually interesting to a certain degree. We learned about the chambers and the arteries and how that massive piece of pure muscle manages to pump blood. However, no matter how interesting it was, it was hard to get close enough to see all the inner workings. The smell was way too horrendous!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Fast Sunday - I'd Rather Be Swallowed By a Whale

____WARNING: Please do NOT take the following post too seriously. Fast Sunday is a very sacred day. We sacrifice 2 small meals, which is very little in retrospect, to feed people who are truly in need. Then we take the time to share our testimony with the other members of our congregation and consider what a blessing it is that we have food in the first place and don't have to go hungry every day. It is a very humbling experience and a very worthy cause. The following views and opinions (but mostly observations) were compiled among my more sadistic friends and I on a particularly looooong Fast Sunday. As you compare these simple observations to your own experiences, I hope you smile :)
_____God is a brilliant man. He could quite possibly be the most brilliant man on Earth, except he chooses not to reside with us mortals, but in another world, far far away. And honestly, looking at all the morons that he has chosen to bless with life and free agency, I don't blame him for that. If I created an entire population that chose to act as... strangely, as mankind, I wouldn't want to be seen with them either. For example, consider the little kid who whines and cries in a candy store because he will absolutely die if he doesn't get another sweet confection to shove into his already chocolate coated face. He is the same kid who picks on the other children at recess, and kicks the shins of any higher authority he can find. If we were the parents, who among us would not just walk right past, and say, "Not my kid,"? I'd run off to Kolob too. However, we are lucky. God is not like that. God takes full responsibility for mankind, despite our greed, anger, gluttony,and atrocities. He loves us unconditionally, and is unashamed to let the universe know, "Yup, those are my kids. Way over there."
_____However, as I said before, God is a brilliant man. Being brilliant, he knows subtle little ways to humble (aka punish) his unruly offspring. He has used such classics as: banishment from certain gardens, locusts, infernos, earthquakes, snakebites, crickets, tithing, and of course, a giant flood. These were the times of the Golden Age. A time when merely choosing not to go on a mission got you swallowed by a whale. Now God has evolved. He has new, more subtle methods of making us suffer. And I must say, of all the plagues and pestilences that our great creator has thrust upon us, none is more profound, than Fast Sunday.
_____The day starts out promising enough... Wait, no it doesn't. NO FOOD! Need I say more. It is a well know fact that 99% of the world's population is more cheerful after they eat food. Unless its school food. Then no one is happy. So now we are disgruntled as we head off to worship. All we can think about is food. We attack the sacrament offerings with ravenous hunger, with bread and water flying across the chapel. No, but seriously, I have never seen people receive the sacrament with so much gusto as I do when it is the first Sunday of the month.
_____Then they ALWAYS ask the long conversationalists to offer the opening prayer. You know what I mean. These people might be lonely or needy or I don't know what, but they love to go into detail about their problems (And sometimes awkwardly enough NOT their problems but the even more awkward problems of others) and then proceed to bless practically every grain of sand in the entire world by name. This must be God's way of trying our paitence. Inevitably, the prayer will last for at least three minutes. One time, it went up to seven. Can anyone, even God, really stand to pay attention to your problems for seven minutes? I almost jumped up and yelled, "Stop talking! God has lost interest!" No blessings for you.
_____Then on to the brief opening statements, or whatever you call them. It is unavoidable, that every typical mormon talk will start out with a joke about the bishop cornering you and demanding you give a talk next week. (Although, maybe that's what really does happen, and they're just trying to warn us in case we're next...).
_____Then, my favorite part of the entire event, is testimony meeting. This is when all the wackos get their chance to stand up and remind us all that God loves them, because they couldn't find their keys, prayed, and lo and behold, they were in their pockets the whole time. Halle Freakin Lullaj! :)
_____The hymn is the only fun part. I love how the old people are the only ones who sing at my church. I joke with my mom that you can always tell when an old person died, because the chorus gets a little quieter. Actually it seems to get a little quieter each week, and yet I never hear of any announcements of recent tragedies. This leads me to wonder which home teachers are in for an extra surprise on their visits that month. Or perhaps which ones aren't doing their duties at all.
_____So as you can see, the whole experience is nothing short of horrific. Famine and disease simply cannot compete. God has moved on from the thunderbolts, lakes of fire, and tremblings of the earth. He just tries to find subtle ways to annoy us very four weeks. When you really think about it, it is sheer brilliance. Looking back at all my Fast Sunday experiences, I think I'd rather be swallowed by the whale.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

We Want U!

In honor of this special event, all the "you's" in the following post will be replaced with "U." I apologize for any inconvenience. U often go to our mailboxes with a heavy heart and a prejudiced minds. Let's be honest, if anyone that U actually want to hear from wants to contact U, they will probably send you an email like a normal person. And U can't blam them? With email, there's no complicated addresses to remember, and no risk of cutting Ur tongue off as U seal an envelope. Yup, there is rarely anything good that comes in the mail these days. If U're like me, its mostly just a bunch of bills, spam, and magazines. Then there are those certain days when mail actually means something. For me, that day was Friday, Febraury 6, 2009. The day I was accepted into the University of Utah! The future is suddenly looking a little bit brighter! And redder! The University of Utah has always been my first choice as far as colleges go. They have kick butt medical and pre-dental programs that'll put me on my way to fulfilling my scholarly ambitions. Plus they've got an undefeated football team for the year 0f 2008-2009. What a year to enroll! And finally, with a campus close to home (including a U trax student transportation pass), two years worth of college credit already under my belt, a dress code that allows all the extreme hairstyles under the sun, and a bowling alley in the student center; I am pretty dang eager to get started!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Holy Crap, It's Michael Phelps! No Wait, It's Just Michael Phillips. Wait A Minute... Holy Crap It's Michael Phillips!

I was walking into my Dental Assisting class today at the Granite Technical Institute when suddenly I saw a sign. I don't normally pay attention to signs, and I have no idea why I even gave this one a passing glance, but I'm happy that I did, because it made my entire day! My heart skipped a beat when I read that Michael Phelps was giving a presentation for our class! Seriously, that's what I thought the sign said, but upon further investigation it was just some guy named Michael Phillips. I followed the rest of the students into the classroom not even realizing what I'd just read.
Then, I was like some kind of crazy guy. I ran back, startling a group of girls along the way, and confirmed that one of the top ten coolest people I know was visiting our school. I couldn't believe it, but there it was. Michael Phillips, 4th year medical student, Wisconsin University; yep that sounds like my awesome cousin. What the heck was he doing there? I had no idea, I just took off for the assembly room.
Wow, it was so cool seeing Mike again. Way better than that Phelps guy. He was standing right by the door and I didn't know if I should shake his hand or hug him. So like the loser that I am, I shook his hand. But the love was there :) So he really did give a presentation for the med students. He called it, "Are You Crazy Too" Ha ha. Y'know, he did a great job! I was impressed! He talked about how he became interested in medicine and what he's been up over these long Mikeless years. He's been doing so much that I began to understand why he entitled it Are You Crazy Too. He must be crazy to go through all that work. But that's why we love him right? I'm definitely impressed and proud of all that he's accomplished :)
Like I said before though, he actually gave a really good speech. I told him at the end that I was enthralled with it and I meant it. A lot of the things he said to me stood out. He told us how he never really took a lot of science in high school, but found out that he really loved it. He also loved how a doctor always seems to make things better, even if they can't help you. They can still refer you to another doctor, or give you information that can just make you feel better. These factors contributed to his desire to become a doctor. He told us some stories about what he's been up to in Med School. He met a guy who tried to commit suicide by pounding a nail into his chest via nailgun, and a woman who supposedly had gallbladder disease. The funny thing is, she didn't have a gallbladder.
He talked about the physical and emotional toll the profession can take on you. He said that a doctor could work a maximum of 30 hours. And told a sad story about a patient who requested to die instead of going through surgery. He told us so much that I don't think I can write it all down. But the one thing that he wanted to get across to us the most was that unhappy people are only unhappy because they haven't found what they really want to do. If you love the medical professions, then all the hard work will be worth it. Thanks for coming Mike. You rock, and the presentation was awesome! It was great seeing you again. Also... I wasn't going to say anything... but even if he didn't notice, I saw a lot of young senoritas who couldn't keep their eyes off him :) I guess that's just another quirk to being a doctor.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Not Hand Scissors - Scissor Hands

_____When I first met my newest cinematic hero, he was half hidden in shadow.
_____A makeup sales woman who was experiencing frustration in a rural neighborhood was inspired to visit the huge and creepy (yet somehow previously unnoticed) mansion at the end of her road. Upon opening the gate to the courtyard, she is struck with awe. Scattered about are perfectly trimmed hedges, crafted to resemble a plethora of animals. Without waiting for an invitation, she enters the mansion and that is where she finally meets him. He slowly emerges from the shadows. She is in shock. First, she cries out, "Those are your hands!" first in shock and fear. Then a second time. "Those are your hands?" This time with pity.
_____The film, of course, is Edward Scissorhands. Now I'm not going to lie, this movie really tugged at my heartstrings. I can't believe how lame I am for wasting 18 years of my life not watching such a cinematical masterpiece. I honestly didn't think I'd like it at all, but boy was I wrong. Not only is it an awesome movie, but it has an awesome message. It portrays how hard it is as an adolescent. How hard it is to grow up and not know exactly who you are or where you stand in the world. It really has that elephant-in-the-room kind of feeling. No matter how much everyone tries to pretend he's normal and no matter how much he wants to be normal, he still has razor sharp knives for fingers, and that causes a lot more problems that you might realize at first. Not only physically, but mentally as well.
_____My favorite part is in the picture above, where the girl asks Edward to hold her, and with that heartwrenching sadness in his voice, he replies, "I can't." It shows that feeling that you get when you love something so much that you want to touch it and hold it and do all you can to make it feel better, but you know that if you do, it'll fall apart. That profound feeling of helplessness where trying to help will actually hurt the thing you love. So you love it enough to not touch it at all. The other scene that really got to me was the part where he tears up the curtains in the bathroom and just stares at himself in the mirror while tearing up the wallpaper. He is in so much pain, and he hates what he sees in the mirror. The mirror seems to play an important part in the movie. You'll notice that whenever he sees a mirror or any reflective surface, he stops and stares at himself until someone drags him away from it. He really hates what he is. You can just tell. Kudos to the brilliant acting of Johnny Depp.
_____ I don't know, I just really liked this movie. It made me laugh, it made me cry, but most importantly, it made me think.