The Signs of Insanity

Well, it is late and I am finding it hard to sleep. So, I figured I'd blog a little just to numb my brain. This week marks the end of a landmark in my life. The end of the first semester of my senior year. There is only one more left before I'm out of school for good! Yay! Of course, with the end of a semester comes the dreaded finals. Auggh. I hate finals! All thsse tests and research papers. There were times when I literally started to think I was going insane. I would frequently sacrafice my food to pagan gods and developed a strange desire to burn things. Not really, but still, it did make me curious as to what exactly the signs of insanity may be. I decided to compose a list, so that you too may know when the world has just hit you too hard, and you have gone insane. Enjoy.

1. When people try to voice their concerns about your mental state you stroke their hair and tell them that in due time, the purification process will begin.
2. You believe your food has the right to a fair trial before being eaten. Then you go hungry for days because the verdict is constantly against you.
3. You constantly apologize to everyone you know for setting fire to their lawn decorations. And their pets.
4. You scream "FIRE!" everytime a telephone rings.
5. Elevators excite you. So does melba toast.
6. You ponder every small insect you have killed in your life and worry about their families attacking you in your sleep.
7. You like to stand in cornfields at night and pretend that you are a stalk.
8. You wish you could obey the voices in your head, but you can't understand them because they speak swedish.
9. You take relationship advice from your neighbor's toaster.
10. Your neighbor won't let you into his house anymore. You are always crying and blaming his toaster for problems in your love life.
11. You have your name engraved on every single tooth in your mouth. Mostly for security reasons.
12. You start each day with a thirty minute jog around your closet.
13. You set up a desk in an an elevator and ask passengers if they have an appointment.
14. You still think that the plot of the popular television drama "Lost" is actually going somewhere.
15. Nobody listens to your opinions anymore because they can't understand you through that scuba mask.

So, there you have it. My own list of all things anti sane. If you, or any friends or family members that you might know of are exhibiting any of these symptoms, then please seek help as soon as possible. Things can get pretty rough, and finals can get pretty tough, but lets be honest people. Life is much too short to spend yelling at toasters. Even if they are lying, backstabbing, low-life, girlfriend stealing... well, you get the general idea. Don't turn your back on them. Anyway, it worked! I am exhausted. Coming up with that list was fun though. Thanks to all the people who inspired me. Some in more ways than others.

Love At First Bite

I am in love. I can scarcely hide it anymore. I want to scream it to the heavens, for I have found the one thing that makes life worth living. I saw her on a billboard. I had been about a year since I had seen her last, and I was sure I would never see her again. Yet there she was, looking as divine as a seraphim. My heart filled with jubilation, for she was back in town. I knew that fate would bring us together. As luck would have it, it did. She looked just as amazing as the last day we met. I walked right up to her, grabbed her hot buns, and said, "Hello gorgeous, It's been much too long." I lifted her up, and we danced around the room to music that did not play from any radio, but from the deepest passions of our hearts. I brought her to my lips, not just once or twice, but repeatedly; again and again. We were entwined in the sweetest embrace. I relished every single moment we had together. Then, in an instant, she was gone. As quickly as she had come into my life, she had left. I was heartbroken. Why must I eat everything that I love? Luckily she has a twin that I keep in the freezer. Oh well. Until next year, my sweet McRib. Our love can never last... or at least can never last long. Yet who among us does not dare to dream...

Having Grattitude for Grace

I cannot remember the last time I read a book that has touched my heart like Grace. Grace is the story of a young 15 year-old girl from the 1950's Salt Lake City, Utah who has run away from home. Her motives are at first unknown to the reader, however in time, the shocking truth is revealed. Eric is just a 14 year-old boy with "acne and a bad haircut." He kind of reminds me of me at one time lol, but who doesn't remember those days. They pass, like all else will do. Good or bad, everything will pass eventually. He finds this young girl in a dumpster behind the fast food establishment he works at. It is clear that she is desperately trying to find food, but he is too nice to point that out. He gives her food, and upon learning her predicament, he offers her a place to stay. Her name is Grace. Hidden in a clubhouse in the back of his five acre yard, Grace finds solace in her new freedom and her unexpected new friend. He brings her food from his own meals and quickly the two become amazing friends. Eric is one of the nicest boys you will ever meet. He is so kind to Grace that she is often overwhelmed that the world could have a person who could be so selfless and so caring. Their bond is heartwarming, and it is truly a pleasure to see them both grow and mature in ways that both of them needed. They are truly the answers to each others prayers. Then, we see that even the people we most trust can be the worst of sinners. The ending will leave you wondering if the world is fair, and then you will realize that the fact that the world gave you the opportunities to love, and to hold, and to kiss, and to lose, make it all the more fair if it must take it away. Even Grace knew the what the outcome would be, but she also knew that she couldn't stop it. The message is to show the darker side of the world, and to show the dangers of humankind. The side that Grace knew and had seen firsthand. But focus on the relationship between Grace and Eric. That message is to just love unconditionally. You never know how much it can mean to someone. Show your passion and your kindness. Be the Hawaii for the people you love, and have a little Grace in everything you do. I won't tell anymore. Read it for yourselves.

New Year: Looking back and looking ahead

Well, this is the last post I will do for 2008 and the first one on my new laptop. 2009 is right around the corner and it couldn't come a minute too soon. I'm in a hurry to get to a party, so I'll make this quick. There's an epidemic of Senioritis going around. I'm sorry (not really) to say that I was one of the first afflicted. It only took ten minutes of school on the first day before I praying that a lightning bolt would just strike my teacher dead on the spot. I repented of my sinful thoughts later that night, but still, I feel a small shimmer of hope everytime it starts to rain. Anyway, I don't know the exact date that I graduate, I just know I'm in the class of2009, so the sooner it gets here the sooner I get out ;) Looking back, I see it was a pretty decent year. A lot of stuff as happened. My new favorite actor died a few days after I decided he was my new favorite actor. Heath Ledger. I will miss his performance as the Joker more than I would miss my right pinky toe. Also, Bernie Mac died. No fun. He was a pretty funny guy. We must wonder what will happen to the Ocean's 11 movies. These truly are dark times of uncertainty. In 2009, I enrolled at SLCC for the first time. Campus courses were pretty fun. I met some new friends and I got certified for Scuba Diving. I had some fun times, good food, and danced more than any other year so far. It wasn't that bad, but I wouldn't want to repeat it. The new year is approaching. This is a time for New Years Resolutions and such. What are my resolutions? Well, I've compiled a small list: 1. Exercise: Its about time I got that six pack I've always wanted :) 2. Get my Associate's degree: I'm soooo close. I'll get it before I even graduate High School. 3. Learn to dance and play guitar: Not at the same time :) 4. Make money: Still don't have a plan for this one... 5. Finish my books: The average author makes about as much as a dentist in a year. 7. Find a number six to add to this list. 8. Take over a small country: a work in progress. 9. Construct my own working Batmobile: Motorcycle included. 10. Find the cure for world hunger. 11. Destroy the cure for world hunger. Its not much, but this should be a fun year. Keep it real everybody. A new year means that somehow, in the back of your mind, you think there'll be new beginnings. Well, in reality, you're just waking up to another tomorrow.

Rumors of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Wow, I've been away from blogging for a long time. Such a shame, especially when it seems like I was just getting into it. Truth be told, I just haven't had enough time for sitting at my computer. Life has been pretty freaking hectic for me. Which is actually why I'm blogging now.

Ok, so I was in this High School production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. We have been practicing nonstop for many moons. We finally had our student and parent performances just a week ago and things have quieted down as far as the play is concerned. It's over and I'm glad. Although I will miss it. I met a lot of new and fun people and these memories will stick with me for a long time. I don't know what I'll do now that its over. Maybe I can finally devote more time to fencing. Anyway, the play was a smashing success. People are still raving about our beloved musical and still randomly singing songs from it. It brought a smile to my face when I heard some random person whistling Go Go Go Joseph in the bathroom lol. Cracks me up everytime. So yeah, It feels good to be part of what has been considered the best musical Hunter High has put on since Les Miserables. 

Another major change is that I turned 18 on November 20. So yeah, I'm legal now. I even made a list of all the things I can do now that I'm 18. I can join the army, get married w/out parent approval, buy M rated games, buy cigarettes (but not smoke them), pay my own insurance, become a porn star, not get legally fed by parents, oh and get tried as an adult if I blow something up. Am I missing the bright side of turning 18? Oh and guess what? My first hours of manhood were spent shirtless and wearing makeup and twirling around a ribbon like a twinkled toed fairy leading the Gay Pride Parade. In other words, opening night of Dreamcoat. What a way to become a man.

Lastly, I was chosen to be the English Sterling Scholar at my school. It was an honor. I was also selected as a Wolverine of the Month Nominee. 

So there you go. A lot of crap has gone down in the last month I have not blogged. A lot of drama has gone down too, but I'm not going to write about that. Why would I want to remember any drama? I want to only remember the good things about life. That way, when I'm old and wrinkly, I can look back on my life and enjoy it a second time. 

By the way, I saw James Bond Quantum of Solace with my dad. That was the highlight of my month.

Happy Birthday Randen! Now don't pee on the corn.

     Ok, so today was actually fairly productive. I started off by waking up at the crisp hour of 6 AM and proceeded to cram my little mind with anything that could possibly help me on my ACT score. You see, the ACT was today, and I didn't really remember until the night before... But I'm not scared. I actually think I did really well. I mean I knew all the answers to the questions, I just ran out of time to finish. Stupid time limits. Oh well, I always have my good old 26 to fall back on. I love that score, to me its the dumb-kid-score among the smart kids :) Well that pretty much describes me. Naturally nerdy, but not dedicated enough to be a total nerd. 

     After that was my brother's birthday. Well, I guess all day was his birthday, but after that we celebrated it. I got him that new Eragon book, Brisingr. A book really is an awesome gift, especially if you write something special in the cover. There is nothing more personal. It took me forever to think of what to write. I just can't believe how old he's gotten. It makes me feel like an old fogey myself (he's 12 btw and I'm almost 18). In the end I wrote a heartfelt message filled with good wishes and advice for the future. One good thing about going through High School is that you gain wisdom to pass on to the youngins'. Maybe not knowledge or brain cells, but at least wisdom. Well, perhaps the message was too good because I seriously choked up when I tried to read it out loud and I almost started bawling xD Lame huh? I don't care, I love the little guy. I'm just too good at this writing thing. I should work for Hallmark. Or at least write obituaries. Everyone would cry at my amazing artistical talents.

       Then we took Randen and his friends out to a haunted corn maze to celebrate. Wow, it is not easy to keep 6 rowdy adolescents together in a corn maze in the dead of night, especially when every last stinking one of them wants to pee in the corn. I seriously needed backup. We still managed to stay together and have a good time though. I also realized a valuable lesson when we were in there. People want to be scared. They enjoy it. It's an unnatural rush that we really do genuinely enjoy because it's not natural. After you scream, you laugh. Perhaps that's why we also watch sad movies when we're happy or fall in love. Because they're unnatural feelings. Feelings that we crave because we don't get enough of them. Anyway, that was my sudden burst of insight. We got them all out relatively unscathed and went home where I beat up my dad. The end, church tomorrow (not fun), I'm going to bed. I'll try to post pics later.

I Think I Understand Now

I think I now understand this whole blogging craze. Having a blog is like having a child. When you just think about making one, you have no idea what you're going to do with it. You don't see the point behind it. Sure everyone else has one, but why does that mean you should? Don't you have a life, a cause, a mission of some kind that this newborn threat could possibly disrupt? Then you get one, and suddenly you see what all the hubbub was about. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a child. But I do have a blog. I really don't know what I'd do with a child. I mean, a blog doesn't whine constantly if you don't feed it, as children are prone to do.

So yeah. Anyways, today I was so sleepy that this morning, I put my underpants on backwards and didn't notice all day. Embarrassing, but funny. My cheeks are now back to normal. Coming up in a future post, I'm going to show you the slow and steady process of my chipmunk cheek inflation, because I took pictures that are freaking hilarious! I just need to download them first. And I'll also show a pic of the rare condition I have that's plaguing my happiness as I once knew it. You see, my wisdom teeth removal surgery had a minor drawback and now my jawbone is sticking out through my gums and cutting my tongue. Which btw is driving me crazy!!! Take a look if you dare. I heard it only happens in appx. 1/300 patients.