The Signs of Insanity

Well, it is late and I am finding it hard to sleep. So, I figured I'd blog a little just to numb my brain. This week marks the end of a landmark in my life. The end of the first semester of my senior year. There is only one more left before I'm out of school for good! Yay! Of course, with the end of a semester comes the dreaded finals. Auggh. I hate finals! All thsse tests and research papers. There were times when I literally started to think I was going insane. I would frequently sacrafice my food to pagan gods and developed a strange desire to burn things. Not really, but still, it did make me curious as to what exactly the signs of insanity may be. I decided to compose a list, so that you too may know when the world has just hit you too hard, and you have gone insane. Enjoy.

1. When people try to voice their concerns about your mental state you stroke their hair and tell them that in due time, the purification process will begin.
2. You believe your food has the right to a fair trial before being eaten. Then you go hungry for days because the verdict is constantly against you.
3. You constantly apologize to everyone you know for setting fire to their lawn decorations. And their pets.
4. You scream "FIRE!" everytime a telephone rings.
5. Elevators excite you. So does melba toast.
6. You ponder every small insect you have killed in your life and worry about their families attacking you in your sleep.
7. You like to stand in cornfields at night and pretend that you are a stalk.
8. You wish you could obey the voices in your head, but you can't understand them because they speak swedish.
9. You take relationship advice from your neighbor's toaster.
10. Your neighbor won't let you into his house anymore. You are always crying and blaming his toaster for problems in your love life.
11. You have your name engraved on every single tooth in your mouth. Mostly for security reasons.
12. You start each day with a thirty minute jog around your closet.
13. You set up a desk in an an elevator and ask passengers if they have an appointment.
14. You still think that the plot of the popular television drama "Lost" is actually going somewhere.
15. Nobody listens to your opinions anymore because they can't understand you through that scuba mask.

So, there you have it. My own list of all things anti sane. If you, or any friends or family members that you might know of are exhibiting any of these symptoms, then please seek help as soon as possible. Things can get pretty rough, and finals can get pretty tough, but lets be honest people. Life is much too short to spend yelling at toasters. Even if they are lying, backstabbing, low-life, girlfriend stealing... well, you get the general idea. Don't turn your back on them. Anyway, it worked! I am exhausted. Coming up with that list was fun though. Thanks to all the people who inspired me. Some in more ways than others.